Ego

My silence
Isn’t silent
She’s so loud
Nobody hears it

My loudness
And being occupied
Is only
To hide my silence

2007

Sinking ship

A thousand thoughts
Not to control by the brain
To escape and to wander
Only for the truth

Where are we going to end
On the deserted island
Only a book and a glass of wine
Drowning in the readable drama, slowly getting drunk by emotions

On the deserted island
Drowning in the eyes of the other half of your soul
Only each other and two glasses of wine
Together staring at the sun going doing, getting drunk of romance

Are we staying where we are today
Not to control by the brain
Not knowing whether we are unhappy
Or are we leaving the sinking ship.

Christmas 2004

Rotten apples ready to pick up
Rocks to fall over two times
Doom hiding around the corner
Inflation knocking at the front door.

Coastlines enlarging
Living creatures shrinking
Not working people staring at the television
Working people staring in traffic jam

The greyness of working
The black hole ready to fall
Depression smiling in her fist
The narcist out loud

People fading away in high speed
Air clogging even going faster
Breathlessness growing
Earth preparing for a new generation

2004

Where are we going

Sense for nonsense
Nonsense for sense
Flowers to plant
Plants to flowers

Look to see
See to look
Reading to relax
Relax to read

Sleep to dream
Dreaming to sleep
Drink to satisfy thirst
Thirst to satisfy drinking

Feel to suffer
Suffer to feel
Lead to do
Do to lead

2004

Bending Knees

Cold and fog have arrived
The cold in my heart is heated
Dark days are coming early
my head is brightening up.

Pride is a doomed quality
Being conceited bad for the conscience
The cold doesn’t attract me to you
The missing of something that’s good does.

To laugh is a gift
To cry a relieve
Darkness doesn’t scare me away
You enlighten my way

Days pass by
And late becomes early again
Dark days stay away
The missing towards you always remains

2004

Blocked

To laugh, cry, kick, caress
To buy, rent, steal, borrow
To feel, taste, smell, see
To think, think, think, think

Why, who, how, when
To go, stand still, run, stroll
To call, mail, surf, talk
To feel, feel, feel, feel

To ask, wonder, have pain, be empty
To stare, dream, sleep, fantasize
To work, sleep, do sports, party
To live, live, live, live

Life goes on

Stinging pain in my head
Cramps in my neck
Screaming pain in my back
But Life Goes On

Followed by the accident
Panic fear, looking over the shoulder
Heading decreasing in my hands
But Life Goes On

Wondering who you do it for
BOOM, CRASH, PENGGGGG
Metal finds metal
But Life goes On

Paralysed of the shock
Silence caused by silence
Responsible for the traffic jam
But Life Goes On

2004

Bulldog

Sometimes my heart really hurts
Tears fall out of my eyes like a flood
Knowing the right decision is made
But to pain none the less

To proud to admit the pain
When you hear not being worth
Giving back the poisoned gift
Whilst the meaning is unique

Learning out of painful experiences
Try to open your hart
Easier to kick on someone else’s
Like the House of Oz blown away to the eternal fields

2004

Rutochahi

Rubbing in my eyes
Trying to let fatigue disappear
Thoughts running in my head
Am I Questioning

Sleepless nights follow each other
Like a cow gets milked rhythmic
Different languages are coming through
Forgetting the language of love

The mind getting stronger without mind filling drinks
The castle of the character with extra bricks
Unhappy with situations resulting
Adore playing with independency

The curved back always stretching
A finger out of use not noticed
Smiling with my idiot writing behaviour
Life is being good for a brief moment

2004

BKI 888

Everything black when I’m staring
Nicotine taste still in my mouth
A sigh surging out of my soul
Trying to let go

Café Leggero through my throat
Looking down at the Nokia like he’s guilty
Cracking my fingers, thinking about his ones turning
Trying to exile it out of my body

What a great feeling, love
Tormenting day en night
The fear of insecurity
But I’m guilty of the plead myself

2004

Chinese Food

Forbidden love written in a book
Secrets meetings follow
Passion clears the way to freedom
Unspoken words sounding loud

The playing of the lingering mistress
Waiting for her love like Mars
Surrendering like only Venus can do it
Perceiving fake love for each other

Feeling each others arms, tasting each others body
Like the forbidden fruit in paradise
Loving each other spirits, bodies
Emotional giving your live to another, in secret

2004

Troy

A strange feeling coming over my body
Inconvenience feels different, better
My thoughts jumping from one side to another
Waiting, waiting, waiting for the release

Trying to choke my mind with these thoughts
Fighting against the live of insensivity
Bending to the claws of a roaring lion
Waiting, hoping, hoping for the release

Trying to reason refreshing
Convince myself of me overreacting
Giving myself to the giants of the opposed
Waiting, hoping, begging for the release

Give me something, give me joy
Give me sadness, give me an answer
I beg you

2004

To v. Th

Staring through the window
Missed the sunset
An image before my eyes
Of the question unanswered

See the shrubs moving
The wind blowing through them
If it was not special
That branches bend

Staring at my screen
Questioning what I’m doing
Wanting to denounce my feelings
And only be happy

2004

To stray

Confused and wandering
Not knowing which path to choose
In the enormous maze
I’m standing in

What brings left
What brings right
How far do I walk the path
Or do I take the emergency exit

Thought racing through my head
Feelings through my heart
Blood streams in my veins
Sadness in my body

The pain hits me rock bottom
Like the dead of a favourite pet
Overwhelmed with the mist of insecurity
On a bitter day

2004

Descision Time

Why doesn’t understand my head my heart
Why doesn’t understand my heart my head
They’re having a battle already some months
Who’s going to win this war

Blond or brown
Insecure or secure
Happy or habit
Fear or at ease

I have no input anymore
Just if I think to rule
It seems I’m being lived
I haven’t got control anymore

The independency of feelings
Destroy me
When can I start
To live like a happy young woman

2004

Stop Time

Time should have the possibility to stop
I’d stop it every time I’m with you
If my head trusts my hart
If we are happy

Again broken glass at the floor
We don’t understand each other
But we want to be together
We are missing something

I want your arms around me every day
You life inside me, but not with me
Tears coming out of my eyes
Why can’t we work this out

I’m responsible for this game
Both of us in pain
Why do I wonder
Doesn’t time stop

2004

Playing Rules

I feel torn apart
Literal divided in two
I want to let me hear you
But the rules prohibit this

I want to kiss en embrace
En make love and caress
But also this is prohibit
By the rules of the game

We have to talk and discuss
We have to stand on our own lines
Defend our point of view
No weakness in de line

I show signs of weakness
His game is better, has got structure
I want to surrender
I want to feel his arms

2005

Heavy Sigh

My feelings are scrambled
The cause, a man of course
How else can it be
That God’s creature causes troubles

I feel sadness and pain
I feel irritated and deprived
Where did it go wrong this time
Where is the cause

Could it be
That love doesn’t conquer all
That you only depend on each other
And you have to give enough energy

2 different worlds who meet
Try to be one unit
But sometimes the worlds are wide apart
So it seems they can’t find each other

Time will learn
The BIG stereotype, time
But I keep fighting and hoping
That we find each other

2005